It’s Monday: The Packers Lost, Dolphins Celebrate

I guess the 1972 Miami Dolphins can break out the champagne and cigars now…the Defending Super Bowl Champion Green Bay Packers lost their first game of the season to the Kansas City Chiefs (19-14) on yesterday.  And with that loss the only unbeaten team in league history (regular and post season) can do what they normally do when a team comes close to eclipsing their perfect status.  Rejoice.  But my question would be…what are you guys actually celebrating??  Are you celebrating your accomplishment? (which was great).  Or are you that caught up in hanging on to a record that was set over thirty years ago?  And you think it’s your only validation of who or what you achieved as a team…  I don’t know what it is, but I do know that every time a team comes anywhere close to achieving an undefeated season you summon the “FOOTBALL GODS”, take out your prayer beads and begin to wish defeat on whichever team that may be approaching your record.  The Green Bay Packers are 13-1 and are on the verge of possibly winning back to back National Football League Championships, so I think they have a little more on their mind than you and your perfect record.  So Miami Dolphins enjoy your moment, appear on as many sports-talk radio shows and do as many interviews as you can.  But just remember if the Packers win back to back Championships they would have done something even you, “THE PERFECT DOLPHINS” couldn’t accomplish!!!  And I believe that will suit them just fine…

Friday’s Forum: He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not…

Dear toughtalkdc,
I am recently separated after being married for seven years.  Being back on the dating scene is so confusing and I feel like a fish out of water!  Particularly, I have met this guy and he seems nice enough and says all the right things. He says he can see a future with me, he wants to take me on exotic trips, he wants to meet my family, etc.  And after such wonderful dates and time spent together, I dont hear from him for days at a time.  It makes me feel silly.  How can you see this great future with me, but I dont hear from you?  I feel like all of this might be just “game” to get me to sleep with him, and then he will disappear.  How do you know the difference between game and someone that is really sincere?

Anonymous

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Good Morning Anonymous,

The only true way to decipher between a man that’s playing games and a man that’s really sincere is time.  And what I mean by time is don’t rush yourself back into a relationship.  I know coming out of a marriage of 7 years and being together years before the union, you’re used to being in a relationship.  And it may be safe to say that there is a comfort and familiarity for you being joined with someone and having someone with you.  But attaching yourself to anyone, let alone a man that knows all the right things to say may not be the answer.  You said in your letter that when you have these wonderful dates and he talks about taking you on these exotic trips…afterwords he doesn’t call or you can’t reach him for days at a time.  And “how could he see this great future with you and then don’t call”??  Well there could be a few reasons why this is occurring.  He could already have someone and they occupy the majority of his time, so when he calls you or wants to go on a date, it maybe the only time he can get away from her.  Or he could be a guy that really likes you and isn’t trying to do too much too soon.  But I would say if this guy is exhibiting all of the signs that this gentlemen is and after such a wonderful time spent between the two of you…it would seem that he would be in constant contact with you because he thinks he may have found someone truly special to him and would want spend as much time with her as possible.  So my advice to you is to continue monitoring this guy.  You don’t have to totally remove him from your life, there’s nothing wrong with having a friend that you can share a meal and spend time conversing with!  But if you’re looking for more and you’re really in search of that relationship…then my advice is to move on.  And by doing so you may just force this gentlemen into either living up to those things that he told you he wanted to share with you …or revealing his true motives and intentions for you!!  Either way you’re going to get the answer that your seeking.  HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND!!!

Thoughts on Thursdays: End of War in Iraq

Defense Secretary Leon E. Panetta visited Iraq on Thursday, December 15, 2011 and officially declared an end to the war there – and after almost 9 years of fighting, 4,487 US troops lives being lost, 30,000 or more being wounded, and over 800 billion dollars of tax payer’s money being spent, I have only one question…WAS IT REALLY WORTH IT??  What did we as Americans gain from this war?  I know many of you have asked yourself that question as well, and I still haven’t come up with a suitable answer.  What I do know is the strain this war has inflicted on our military and their families.  I know most of our Armed Services men and women would never complain about a mission and the effects of it, but what about their families??  The kids whom parents’ missed their first steps.  The parents who missed their kids’ little league games.  The son who wanted his dad there when he drove his first car, or the daughter who just wanted her mom present when she had her first heartbreak.  Those and a number of other memories are now lost.  Not to mention the kids whose parents never returned from battle.  I know some of you will say that’s the sacrifice of war and we have to make those sacrifices so this country can be more safe.  But how much more safe are we??  The Iraq war didn’t stop other countries’ hatred of America…and I know this because of the numerous accounts of various groups still trying to plan attacks on this country.  So how safe are we really?  I guess that’s just a matter of your own interpretation.  But I’m not naive, I know war is a part of the world we live in.  But a war that has cost us so many casualties, a war that’s going to cost so much more in health care for our wounded, a war that has already cost this country 800 billion dollars in tax payer dollars…and all of these expenditures are occurring when we ourselves are going through a recession.  American citizens are homeless and don’t have a clue where their next meal is coming from.  We have Americans occupying our streets.  So again, my question would be…WAS IT REALLY WORTH IT??  JUST MY THOUGHTS PEOPLE!!!!

What Were They Thinking Wednesdays: DC Boxing Commission

Last Saturday, December 10, 2011, a major sporting event took place …World Championship Boxing returned to Washington DC for the first time in over 18 years!  Washington DC’s own Lamont Peterson captured the Super Lightweight title with a controversial split decision over Former Champion Amir Khan.  The fight was very entertaining,  with both participants exhibiting wonderful boxing skills, great heart and determination.  But my gripe with the entire night was the DC Boxing Commission and their appointing referee Joe Cooper to officiate the bout.  Mr. Cooper, who resides in Virginia, had more to do with the outcome of the fight than either Mr. Peterson or Mr. Khan.  Mr. Cooper penalized Khan for pushing in the fight (yes pushing) and awarded Mr. Peterson not one point (in the 7th round), but two points (in the 12th)!  I have never seen a referee take away a point for pushing in a Championship fight, let alone two!!!  The bout, which was televised live on HBO was a near sell out and could have been the catalyst to boxing returning to Washington DC in  MAJOR WAY!!  But with the DC Boxing Commission and their short sided vision of appointing a “HOMER”  referee to officiate the bout, they may have allowed something that could have been the start of something wonderful for the city to turn into what just may become a…every 18 year occurrence!!  DC BOXING COMMISSION…WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???!!!!

It’s Monday: John Hinckley, Jr. Free?

A federal Judge is weighing a request by doctors and therapists to expand the liberties and freedoms of a patient that has been hospitalized for over 30 years.  And you would think if the doctors are recommending this, the patient has exhibited signs that his illness has become increasingly better and they may be ready to rejoin us in society (in some form or fashion).  And all of that may be true for any other patient, but this patient’s name is John Hinckley Jr (yes…that John Hinckley Jr).  And for those of you whom that name doesn’t resonate with, John Hinckley Jr. is the man who in 1981 tried to assassinate then president, Ronald Reagan.  So now you see why this is such a dilemma!  President Reagan, along with 3 others, was wounded in the attack perpetrated by Mr. Hinckley and Federal Prosecutors in NO WAY want to extend more freedom to a man who once tried to murder a sitting President.  And I have to say that I agree with them!!  Now I know that at the time Mr. Hinckley wasn’t a person of sound mind and suffered from mental illness and delusions, and through therapy and mental health care Mr. Hinckley is doing better.  And normally if the doctors who have worked with him for decades share their diagnosis, then I would say…extend Mr. Hinckley’s visits.  Allow him to move to his mother’s hometown.  Allow this man to continue on his path to finding some type of normalcy in his life.  But are we forgetting what happened here??  Mr. Hinckley shot a President!!!  And even though he wasn’t at the time mentally able to distinguish right from wrong, the outcome remains the same.  What type of precedent will we be setting??  Are we allowing people who try and murder the leader of our country to do 30 years and then release him back into the world?  I know its not that cut and dry and Mr. Hinckley will continue to live under restrictions and monitoring but still…he tried to murder the President!!  And for all of you who are disagreeing with what I’m saying…I’m not saying Mr. Hinckley shouldn’t continue receiving the treatments and therapy that he is receiving, I just think expanding his freedoms and giving him some of the liberties that many of us law abiding citizens enjoy on a daily basis is a bit much for me!!!!

Friday’s Forum: Should You Snitch on Cheating Friends?

Dear Toughtalkdc,

 

I have two friends, they are married.  I know for a FACT that the female in the couple has cheated on the male.  They have a baby that looks NOTHING like the father.  The baby “resembles” the mother slightly, but not the father at all!  I know that this can happen, but I also know that she has cheated MULTIPLE TIMES.  Should I tell my friend?  I’m friends with them both, so I’m torn.  My friend was so happy to be having his first child, I think he’s blinded to the fact that this child looks NOTHING like him.  I’ve also had a few friends that have taken care of children until they were almost adults, only to find out they weren’t theirs.  I would hate to see him go through that.  I’ve been friends with them both for well over 10 years.  I’ve never mentioned the cheating, so I guess I’ve been a bad friend either way.  But now that this child is born, I’m feeling particularly guilty about not saying anything.  What should I do?

 

Anonymous

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Good Morning Anonymous,

My suggestion to you is…DON’T SAY A WORD!!  You can’t destroy both of your friends’  lives on your assumptions.  You said that your friend has cheated multiple times…and that may be true…but that doesn’t mean your other friend isn’t the father of his child.  I think you’re way too invested in your friends’ relationship!  I know you care for your friends and their well- being, but let me ask you a question…Why do you want to tell him?  Is it that you don’t want to see him continue to stay in a relationship that isn’t fair to him?  Or is it that you don’t want to see him hurt in any way?  If your answer is closer to the latter…then by revealing such damaging information to him it will only bring him the same hurt that you’re trying to shield him from.  Or do you care for him because you see a good man and wonder why is he with her…a woman who takes advantage of him and treats him the way that she does…and not with a woman like you…who would treat him the way he is supposed to be treated!!  If that last comment is off base and doesn’t have any merit, then I apologize.  But if it does have a little credence to it then my advice to you is walk away…leave it alone.  Allow nature to take its course.  And just know whatever is done in the dark will eventually come into the light.  If she is behaving the way you say she is, it’s just a matter of time before all of her secrets are revealed!!  Have a Wonderful Weekend!!

What Were You Thinking: Fred Davis & Trent Williams

We have a first for us in our weekly edition of…WHAT WERE THEY THINKING WEDNESDAYS.  We have two entries: Fred Davis and Trent Williams of The Washington Redskins.  The two standout players have both been suspended for the remaining four games of the regular season for being in violation of the National Football League’s Policy and Program for Substance Abuse.  Mr. Davis and Mr. Williams were enrolled in the Program for their previous urine samples which tested positive for cannabis (marijuana) and even after their enrollments in the program, the two continually distributed such a callous and non-caring attitude that they continued to indulge in the same behavior.  This led them to several more positive urine samples for the previous substance mentioned.  Sources familiar with the story have reported that there were as many as 3, maybe 4, failed tests for both players!!  So with that information The NFL decided to take action and suspended Mr. Davis and Mr. Williams.  The two Redskins can not have nor take part in any activities with their team until January 2,2012, which means they can’t even come to the facility to train, workout, have team meetings, etc. with their teammates.  Both players were having breakout seasons, but now their seasons are over.  I hope you both use this time wisely.  I hope you really reflect back to that young boy who was playing pee-wee league football and was hoping and dreaming of one day becoming an NFL Player.  That dream that with hard work and sacrifice, playing in the NFL has now become a reality.  But if you all continue the behavior that you have been displaying, and don’t see the error in your ways…That Dream…The Hard Work…all of it that you have worked so hard for will be gone!!  SO PLEASE WISE UP GENTLEMEN!!  Fred Davis and Trent Williams….WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!!!???

Tuesday’s Topic: Jack Johnson

Jack Bruce Johnson, a name that has been the topic of numerous nightly news segments, social networking jokes, and many dinner-time conversations, will be sentenced today after pleading guilty to extortion and witness tampering.  And for me, instead of being like most of you, I’m more angered at the potential for what was lost…rather than the crimes that Mr. Johnson pled guilty too.  Before Mr. Johnson became the County Executive he was the hired by Judge Alexander Williams Jr. (then State’s Attorney) to become the Deputy State’s Attorney and then preceded Judge Williams to the office of State’s Attorney for Prince George’s County.  An office that at the time was only held by one African American.  Mr. Johnson was responsible for launching a probe into police brutality in Prince George’s County, which at the time had a reputation of the officers engaging in such behavior.  And along with that, was responsible for bringing growth to the area with shopping malls, middle class housing, etc., which led to Prince George’s County being ranked nationally as one of the wealthiest counties for middle class African Americans families in the country.  But those things, as well as a myriad of others, have been erased by Mr. Johnson and his GREED.  His selfish behavior has not only made him the brunt of jokes, but has made his entire term as a public servant a WASTE!!  So now we wait, and we ponder, what could have been.  I hope, Mr. Johnson, that sometime soon you reflect on the impact you COULD have made.  But instead we’re left with the impact you DID make!!!

It’s Monday!: Tim Tebow

Good Morning Toughtalkers……There is something that I have to admit…I was wrong about Tim Tebow.  The Denver Broncos Quarterback once again led his team to a victory on Sunday beating the Minnesota Vikings 35-32, improving his record to 6-1 as a starting QB this season.  And I have to confess…I didn’t see this happening!!  Mr. Tebow has engineered his Broncos on four fourth quarter comebacks in this span and has his team tied for First Place in the AFC West.  A month ago if you would have suggested any of those things would have occurred, I would have called you INSANE (at best)!!  But here we are…and maybe Mr. Tebow loses the rest of his games and flames out as a NFL Quarterback.  Maybe this was just him catching lightning in a bottle, or maybe he is going to go by the way of the wildcat offense that was the craze in the league a few years ago.  I don’t know.  But what I do know is, Mr. Tebow has excelled at every level of football that he has ever played.  So it was a mistake for me to think that his success wouldn’t continue!!…

Friday’s Forum: Dating Ex-Cons

Dear toughtalkdc,

I’ve met a nice man and I am interested in him.  I have one hesitation.  He was incarcerated for 13 years, about 3 years ago.  He’s so nice and respectful, and he was honest about his time in prison – but it concerns me.  Not for the obvious reasons like he would steal from me or become violent.  I’m wondering about homosexual tendancies.  He hasn’t shown any, but he was locked up for 13 years!!  Can a man REALLY go that long without sexual contact?  Even if it’s with another man?  Maybe he didn’t like it, but he did it because he needed some sort of physical contact.  I don’t know!  And I’m scared to ask.  Isn’t that offensive?  Or should I ask him?  I’m completely confused about this and it’s not something I can talk about with my friends or family.  None of them even know his past.  I really like him, but I have this lingering question in my head that just won’t go away.

 

Thanks,

Anonymous

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Good Morning Anonymous!!

Where do I start first?  You have found a man that you really like and your hang up is not that he spent time in jail, but if he engaged in any homosexual behavior while he was incarcerated?  I implore you to communicate with this man!  And please be very sincere when you do so!!  You have to talk to him, express your questions to him, and open up a dialog between you all.  You said he hasn’t exhibited any tendencies, so don’t jump to conclusions.  Just because you may have seen a few movies or heard a couple of songs and heard a few stories, now you think it’s impossible for a man to do any length of time without engaging in homosexuality.  That’s just not true!!  Most men practice masturbation and use memories of ladies or pictures and letters sent to them to satisfy their needs!!!  Every man that does time doesn’t run to the arms of a man for sexual gratification!!  If those are your concerns then maybe you both should go and take a HIV test…Together.  Because just like you have questions about what he has been doing for the 13 years prior to him meeting you, he may have similar questions about your past sexual history as well.  And even though you’re saying right now, “I know who i have been with and I have never been with anyone like that”, it’s not just about you.  It’s also about your partner’s history…and their partner’s- partners history!!  And with all of the behavior that’s going on in society, he has the right for concern also!!  You mentioned your family and friends not knowing about his past, and I don’t think it’s any of their business to know his recent circumstances.  His past is just that…HIS PAST!!  So if he feels like sharing that information with them …then he will.  But don’t allow others into your personal business.  I’ve learned from experience, the more people you allow into your relationships… the more opportunities there will be for them to interject their opinion when it wasn’t asked or needed!!!  So my advice to you is to sit down and communicate your feelings to him.  If he is all that you say he is, and he really cares about you, he will answer whatever questions you may have.  And if he isn’t willing to do that….then he isn’t willing to have you!!!  HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND!!!