Dear toughtalkdc,
I am recently separated after being married for seven years.  Being back on the dating scene is so confusing and I feel like a fish out of water!  Particularly, I have met this guy and he seems nice enough and says all the right things. He says he can see a future with me, he wants to take me on exotic trips, he wants to meet my family, etc.  And after such wonderful dates and time spent together, I dont hear from him for days at a time.  It makes me feel silly.  How can you see this great future with me, but I dont hear from you?  I feel like all of this might be just “game” to get me to sleep with him, and then he will disappear.  How do you know the difference between game and someone that is really sincere?


Good Morning Anonymous,
The only true way to decipher between a man that’s playing games and a man that’s really sincere is time.  And what I mean by time is don’t rush yourself back into a relationship.  I know coming out of a marriage of 7 years and being together years before the union, you’re used to being in a relationship.  And it may be safe to say that there is a comfort and familiarity for you being joined with someone and having someone with you.  But attaching yourself to anyone, let alone a man that knows all the right things to say may not be the answer.  You said in your letter that when you have these wonderful dates and he talks about taking you on these exotic trips…afterwords he doesn’t call or you can’t reach him for days at a time.  And “how could he see this great future with you and then don’t call”??  Well there could be a few reasons why this is occurring.  He could already have someone and they occupy the majority of his time, so when he calls you or wants to go on a date, it maybe the only time he can get away from her.  Or he could be a guy that really likes you and isn’t trying to do too much too soon.  But I would say if this guy is exhibiting all of the signs that this gentlemen is and after such a wonderful time spent between the two of you…it would seem that he would be in constant contact with you because he thinks he may have found someone truly special to him and would want spend as much time with her as possible.  So my advice to you is to continue monitoring this guy.  You don’t have to totally remove him from your life, there’s nothing wrong with having a friend that you can share a meal and spend time conversing with!  But if you’re looking for more and you’re really in search of that relationship…then my advice is to move on.  And by doing so you may just force this gentlemen into either living up to those things that he told you he wanted to share with you …or revealing his true motives and intentions for you!!  Either way you’re going to get the answer that your seeking.  HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND!!!