Dear Toughtalker,
I have been in ONE relationship most of my adult life. This man is great…we have our issues, but all in all he is a really good guy. However, as we move through life, I feel like Im looking for something different. This is difficult because family and friends expect us to be together forever. I dont see it, and I am getting tired of being what people expect. And because my mate has not wronged me, I know I will be judged for leaving a good man. I dont know if its just easier to stay…or jump out there and look for that person that the “adult” me is looking for. Am I crazy for wanting something different?
Anonymous
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Good Morning Anonymous,
Thank You for submitting your letter.  Now let me start off by saying…NO you’re not crazy for feeling the way that you are.  Those are your feelings and the worst thing you could do now is suppress those feelings.  What you’re going through I would say is pretty natural…to have been with the same person for the most part of your adult life, there is going to be a lull in the relationship…it happens!  You have obviously grown throughout the time you and your mate have been together (and so has he).  When you guys initially got together he may have been the guy you wanted as a young woman, but the things you found desirable then may not be the same things you do now.  So you have to think about that…What do I desire now as a woman?  Can this man eventually become and provide those things that I want?  And if you don’t believe that he can, a conversation needs to be had.  You need to communicate with your mate.  Discuss what you’re feeling, because maybe he is just in a comfortable space in the relationship and he needs some direction from you.  And who knows…with that guidance he could possibily become the man you want!  Or maybe this relationship has run its course…and if that has occurred then be honest not only with him but with yourself.  You should never stay in a relationship for everyone else but yourself.  This is your life and you only have one to live.  But be careful…you know the saying…The grass may not be greener on the other side!  And if you don’t understand what that means…it means…don’t allow the unknown to take you away from the known…because if you do that you may find yourself living with regrets and end up being alone!!!!  HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND!!
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